I would start at my childhood, but all of the drugs and psychotherapy have led me to distrust my previous memories of my childhood. Now all I remember are persistent beatings and mindgames from those damned aliens. I don't have flashbacks anymore, but that's because I have recently undergone a prefrontal-lobotomy. It's pretty amazing that I'm even able to type, which is probably good cause this would be really boring if it were blank. So on to the story.

Once upon a time there was a little boy named David. He loved to run around his yard in Texas naked, so if you ever see a blond naked kid on America's Funniest (I guess they don't have this in Europe, so guess you're SOL if you're over there), it might be me. You'll know cuase I've got a small mole on the upper part of my right butt cheek. Oh yeah, the story... Sorry. I think the aliens developed a strong liking for me during those naked years, which explains their abduction of me when we moved to Pensacola. Thanks to the abductions, if I touch the antenna on my TV I get 500+ stations. It's pretty cool, but makes it hard to watch TV cuase I have to stand the whole time. I finally moved to St. Louis when I was 6 where there was so little to do that I was driven to computers. I was such a social outcast that I was driven to BBSing (that's one fucked up verb). From that point there was no where else to go but the 'scene'.

I guess I started doing 'lit' (cause I sucked at ansi) in '94 or so for some small art groups in the St. Louis area, Crime and Fear. And well, even my lit sucked. For a while I was tricked (by a couple of local lamers) into thinking I was in iCE Lit (they sucked too), but a quick conversation with Ronin resolved that situation. Atleast he was pretty cool about everything, read my work, and came up with a very polite way of saying it sucked. So there I was, back in the little local scene. Then one day my brother gave me a copy of Corel Draw 3.0. There began my short stint in traditional 'vga'. After a while I joined Union, probably the coolest group the scene has ever seen. Well, ok, Cardiac (the fuqn wannabe cracker that he is) was kind of an ass, but then again he still is. :) I then realized how much I hated spending 20 hrs working on a 'traditional' vga, I turned to photography or 'photomanip' as it was dubbed in the scene. I went through a few groups, Union, VOR, DVS, Intrance, MOP, iCE (though I never released) ACiD, and Twilight. But then I realized there was life after the scene. It was quite a relevation, something I discovered in a drunken stupor after hitting my head on the toilet. No great discoveries of flux capacitors, but just a realization that the scene isn't all that.

Since then I've been doing a lot of web design and photography. Back in the beginning I pretty much sucked at both, but atleast I was smoove enough to con hot chicks into modelling for me. I guess we'll just cut to the chase from here on out.

If you read my last profile you'll remember the passage...

"Life is mundane (hopefully that will change when I goto visit a girlfriend of mine and her new girlfriend out in Cali)."

Well, I went out there, got so little sleep that I spent the first night puking while having a nose bleed at the same time. Let me tell you how fun that was. I blew chunks, then got a nose bleed, then the bleeding would stop, and I would throw up again, and the pressure would cause my nose to start bleeding again. And all the while there were two chicks making out in my bed and I was too fuqn sick to join. I left a few days later because the girl I was visiting turned out to be a bitch. I told the airlines that my dad had a heart attack so they wouldn't charge me for changing my depature date. That whole trip was kind of a bust.

Last summer I spent three months in NYC working for an advertising agency. It was pretty fun. Of course I met a lot of people, and even did two photoshoots while I was there. One girl I met at a bagel shop, and the other in the Egyptian section of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I now have an open door at Agency.Com (one of three companies who offered me a position last summer)... "Whenever you want to come work for us, just call."

So here I am, three semesters away from graduation, and debating on whether or not to go into law school after graduating. I guess we'll save that for the next profile update. Well, my girlfriend is graduating today, so I guess I ought to take a shower and stuff.

Remember: If interns weren't meant to give blowjobs, we wouldn't give them kneepads.

Quisling