Cosmic building site, the final frontier. These are the trips of the mushroom Cosmo Ad 2000. It's continuing mission: To explore strange new dimensions to destroy synthetic shells and organic bulldozers. To boldly float where no leader has ever floated before. We found a strange asteroid cloud in the Alpha Centauri system and decided to scan one of the asteroids. Our sensors showed a massive amount of stupidity on the asteroid so we prepared a landing team to go down. When we got to the asteroid we first thought that the disgusting looking blob we found was some sort of spacetrash, but then it started to talk: "HeIjSan JaG Heter B}RjE! F{R Jag KnuLLa Dig Till Reven." Good thing we remembered to take our universal translator with us. "NO FUCKING WAY MOTHERFUCKER !!!!!" shouted CrimE-Z99 and vaporized the alien a thousand times. But our troubles were not over because it started to rain freezers. "Oh no a kitchen ware storm, TAKE COVER!!", shouted Spawn and ducked under himself. The storm lasted for a millenium and when it finally ended the whole crew was quite pissed. "It was about god damn time", said G.O.D. and crawled out from a speaker. "Now, let's try to find the rest of that fucking homosexual tribe", mentioned quartz and pulled out his light sabre. After a few days of floating around the planet we still hadn't found any more of those brown blobs, and everybody was getting a bit tired. "Hey, what the hell is that!?!?" asked Baron and pointed to the horizon. We just couldn't believe our eyes, the strange looking object seemed to be some sort of an alien spaceship! Our team approached the ship really carefully, because we didn't know if we should encounter any more of HomoBlobs. When we got to the massive door it seemed to be locked, but we just couldn't find a lock of any kind. 2 hours later CrimE-Z99 lost the last remains of his so called mind and simply ran through the door. "Fuck me" sighed captain G.O.D "I knew he was fucking out of his mind but this...." All the rest of us walked in and there was no sign of CrimE-Z99 anywhere. "Where the hell can that imbesill lurk?" wondered Dodger. A few seconds later we heard an explosion from the upper levels of the spaceship. When we got to the level eight where the ship's cockpit was, CrimE-Z99 was just standing there in the middle of the remains of da ship's controls. "Jiiihaaaa, that was a blast or what?" asked CrimE with blood dripping from his head. "Do you realize that you just destroyed hardware worth billions of credits!?!?" shouted Doc-Ansi. "Yep, so fucking what?" "Okey that's fucking enough!!!!" shouted captain G.O.D. and gave CrimE some boot to the head. The rest of our team felt that it was our responsibility to help our captain, and when we finished CrimE-Z99 was in a very bad shape. "mmffghfllbbhhhuiuiu i....", he mumbled and boy we had some fun! We sent CrimE back to our shuttle with an auto-floater and continued our search for some alien artifacts we hoped to find. "Medi-Droid sure is going to have it's hands full for the next hundred years or so, hehhehahhuh", chuckled Spawn and almost slipped to 1 of CrimE's lungs. We wondered around the gigantic ship for many years and finally we arrived 2 a big chamber that seemed to be some sort of laboratory. "Wow, look at all this shit", said quartz with his eyes wide open from surpise. The chamber was full'o'different kinds of artifacts and devices. We radioed the shuttle and asked for a CarryAll-droid to meet us at our present location. It took just three more years and the droid arrived and grabbed all of the alien devices before heading back to our landing shuttle. "Yep, now let's get the hell out of here", said our captain when we took a last glance of the desolate asteroid. When Baron hit the afterburners we heard a terrible scream from beneath us. "What was that?" asked Spawn from his seat that was positioned under himself. "Ah, that was propably just Darkman and Dagomys, nothing to worry about", said captain G.O.D. when our ship began it's climb. Well, we surely schorched them for good didn't we? Back on the mothership Cosmo Ad 2000 we began to analyze the alien stuff we brought back from the asteroid. Most of the stuff we analyzed was pretty useless, but then the analyzer beeped! A whole box full of COSMOFLAKES!!! The most efficient spaceship fuel ever, allowing a speed up to 100000 times lightspeed!! Captain G.O.D. immediately promoted all of us. "This incredible fuel will give our ship a tremendous advantage comparing to other ships." "Our ship is now like a new ship and from now on it is to be known as COSMO BC 5000!!!!!!" -------------------- T h e E n d -------------------- Credits: Tune by ?/Bomb Squad --------------------