hello, yo and welcome to this small but tasty invitation intro by yodel! invitation for what? yodel conference 3 and 4!!! read the other texts in this intro for further information, this scroll won't contain too much about it, you see... perhaps most of you out on the amiga scene thought we were dead, since it was n i n e months ago we released anything on this wonderful machine. yepp, we have been extremely lazy, but we can't sit in front of our computers all the time either, can we? be quite sure though to see some real neat intros from us this summer! who's writin' this piece of totally uninteresting alfabetic nonsense anyway? i'm foss! huh, you say... that's a new name! well, yes indeed it is! but some of you might know me as vinzi, who knows? i was, by the way, responsible for the dezign and graphics in this intro, hope ya like it! audial support right now comes from aphex twin, the orb, future sound of london, black dog productions, front242, cure, sisters of mercy, drumclub and my bloody valentine. by the way, have you noticed that the summer is almost here?! it's great! hope it'll be a long, warm one this year! not really usual here but be nice to the animals and all the others and perhaps the world will be a nice place to live at after all. and all nazipunks, g r o w u p sumtime or jump into a barrel and surf away through the sinewaves of time! preferably backwards! just get away from this place, you're the ones who aren't welcome here, or anywhere! and i hope i will never see anyone of you at another party, 'cause you're really destroying the atmosphere... ok, enough about you, and you know who you are, let's talk about sumthing much more refreshing! like the tune for this intro. perhaps someone have recognized it? no? well, it's the tune 'choice' from orbital's first, selftitled, album. buy it! anyone who's waiting for the greetings?! naah... i don't really feel like i know anyone out there. perhaps because i have been totally gone from the scene for a couple of months now! yeah, that's probably it! but ok, i guess some dudes are worth mentioning... like aphex twin/defiance (you should really consider to change handles!), axy/deadline dezign, karma/artlite and well... i guess there's quite a few more guys but that'll be enough. feel yourselves greeted! almost all groups takes the scene too seriously, i think. everyone says that they want it to be like in the old days, but then cheat in the charts, claiming other people to be lame, themselves to be the most elite guys and so on... you probably know what i mean! which means that i don't need the scene, i'll live my life, here on earth! but despite of that i really admire some guys on the scene, like ra/sanity, hof/melon dezign and some others. keep up the great work! here comes ampex with his greetz... they go out to wreimer, möst, jab, valle, bamse, barbapapa, the maker of ninja hunt, börje salming, richard d james, mark owen, robbie williams, howard donald, gary barlow, jason orange, luke perry, michael jacksson, jason priestley, jason donovan, marcus schenkenberg, siewert öholm, barbaskön, bengt öste, skalman, peter jöback, barbamama, malena ivarsson, lili och sussi, marky mark, clawfinger, kid ray, clubber lang, brummelisa, bruce lee, kim sulocki, katten jansson, dolph lundgren, uno x, teddy, arvingarna, barbalala, devo, so what, oral b, brum, bosch, ronny å raggae, lille skutt, leif boork, varuhuset, old el paso, barbastark, polarbröd, super plus, vim mikro, barbazoo, tvååkers bulk, ragnar frunks begravningsbyrå, pingstkyrkan, barbaflink, frälsningsarmen, varbergslast, familje guf, salmingar, barbabok, mike levy, vargen, lilla huset på prärien, santa barbara, husmusen, lars roos, saltsmurf, wårbycola, getavisionen, slavägarens dotter, barbafin, ian ziering, farmor, macgyver, kräm deo, önos, howard jones, björne, tommy bohlin, stigs svetsservice, country music television, airwolf, wulkers, jonelko, ecco, ove's rör, åke vaccin, jofa, kjell brell, tvååkers gräv, pekka heino, peter forsberg, karl herolf, vingummi kraes, the gaymaster, pombär, mullermilch, risifrutti och erik lallerstedt. yeah, that's probably all of them... ok, thanx ampex, here's foss again, keeping you awake all night with his so called bullshit. anyone left? ok, nevermind then, guess it's w a r p t i m e !! what?! still there? oh, i'm sorry... i forgot the bedtime story... my dog hasn't got a nose. oh, really, how does it smell then? terrible! funny, isn't it?! yeah, everyone thinks so... but how about one more? ok, let's go! nice puppy, what race is it? it's a dam dog. can you stand one more? no? well, as you wish, i'll get serious instead... and warp this scroller! ha! the oldest one in the book! and you almost gave up, didn't you? but now i really mean it! w a r p ok, time for the hidden . . . a d u l t s t o r y ! you really thought so? in a family intro? noway! but now it's late... it's dark outside... the full moon shines through my window... you're feeling relaxed... very relaxed... soon the only sound you hear will be the beating of your own heart... the only vision you'll have will be the darkness of your private second space... nevermind! self destruction sequence initiated! and again i can't keep my hands out of the keyboard... do you remember the old days? when the scrollers were appx. four hours long and full of even more complete bullshit than now? ahh, those were the days... rankings.... broken games.... but let's not get nostalgic now! let's look at the future instead! what will the scene look like? will the amigascene die and the peezeescene be the biggest of 'em all? perhaps it will. but we won't let it happen, will we?! nooo, the amiga will always "rule", that's for sure! let's put our hopes in the new range of amiga computers! whatever company who will release them and whatever name they'll have, they sure are gonna be a m a z i n g !!! anyone out there who has taken the time for the scroller to reach this point?! gotta be a while by now... not that it's gonna stop me from writing all night, though! i'll just go for a shower, but i'll be back in a few minutes, ok?! hello again! you sure are a persevering bunch of people! haven't you realized that this scroller will n e v e r end? it's a prototype of our new artificial intelligence engine. when it's ready it will support some more languages, including swahili, aggropuertolish and bodylanguage! and watch out for our introtrilogy this summer! and do attend the yodel conferences!!! they'll be greater than ever! but now i really can't stand writing anymore... w a r p t i m e ! ! ! ~2 Help! ~2Instructions We ~2really~1 doubt if anyone will need this, the controls are like in every other diskmag around! But anyway, here's a brief disc- ription of ~2all~1 the buttons used! Up-Arrow : Scroll upwards Down-Arrow : Scroll downwards Right-Arrow : Next text Left-Arrow : Previous text ? : This text And press the ~2esc~1-key to quit! ~2Credits coded by ~2birdie illustrations by ~2foss with music arranged by ~2zid~1. * ~2more~1 to come from us ~2soon~1! * and ~2don't~1 forget to call our amiga headquarters: e d g e o f s a n i t y +46-(0)346-81852 ~2Introductory ~2Howdy! yO! Now the ~2summer~1 is here, the woods are green and the flowers brightens up your mind with all their happy ~2colours~1... But don't you feel like you miss something anyway? Like a good opportunity to get away from the beach some days and do some (un)serious hacking? In that case, we have the perfect solution for you!! Namely: ~2*YODEL CONFERENCE* ~2Really? Yep, but first of all: Not everybody responding to this invitation will be accepted to join ~2YC3~1 or ~2YC4~1. ~2Why? 'Coz we simply havn't got enough space to squeeze everybody in at!! The ~2Yodel Conferences~1 are not supposed to be as ~2big~1 as for instance TheParty or Assembly, of course! But it will be a nice little party where you can meet cool dudes, drink a lot of brown bubbly liquid and have very fun! ~2OK, sounds great! It sure does! We will read each application form carefully and select the ones we find most suitable! This also prevents us from having too many lamers running around. But a ~2quick response might also make us choosing you! ~2Nice concept! Yeah, but please ~2don't~1 bail out once you have sent us a form, 'cause it will give us a hard time when we'll have to find other persons who can come in- stead. Check the dates a few times ~2before~1 you decide to apply. ~2When, where? Here are the facts... Dates: ~"YC3~1 is ~"1-3~1 July and ~2YC4 is ~222-24~1 July, so there's only three weeks between them, but we assume that there will be a response ~2big~1 enough to make it! Place: ~2Sorry!~1 We won't tell you exactly where the party is going to take place, 'cause to many local lamers will show up with- out being accepted (we know, we have ~2experience~1...). But we ~2can reveal as much as that it will be held in ~2Varberg~1 on the Swed- ish westcoast, eight miles south of Gothenburg. Each visitor will recieve a map (so you will find the party place) and an ID-card showing who you are, what group you belong to and of course that you have permission to visit ~2Yodel Conference~1... Now, read the other the other text to get more info about the ~2facilities~1 at the confer- ences and various other ~2extremely~1 important facts! ~2 Facilities ~2 So what do i get 4 my money? For the lousy amount of 170SEK you'll get all this... ~2 * Free axz to the sandwich ~2 toaster! ~2* One free bottle of Coke(1,5l) ~2 * Bread 4 appx. 17 toasts ~2 * One big hacking room with: Room for appx. 50 computers Enough power for everyone Tables already setup ~2 * Yodel Cinema: Movies nearly 24h/day Big screen HiFi stereo sound system: One 18" Subwoofer Two 15" Subwoofers Four 8" Midrange speakers Total power:more than 1500W! ~2 * Wooden chairs (bring a more comfortable one if you like...) ~2 * Guaranteed HVZ(tm)! (HighVolumeZone) ~2 * Food (coke and pizza) can ~2be bought in our tiny cafeteria ~2 * Quite quiet (que?) sleeping ~2 room Read the textfiles supplied in the archive for ~2more information about the two conferences and exactly what to do when you've decided to come! ~2 Greetings Our warmest ~2hellos~1 goes out to the following groups.. (both amiga and pc) a n a t h e m a ~2 * * * a r c l i t e ~2 * * * c - l o u s ~2 * * * c a s c a d a ~2 * * * c o d e b l a s t e r s ~2 * * * d e a d l i n e d e z i g n ~2 * * * d e f i a n c e ~2 * * * d i s a r m ~2 * * * d p s ~2 * * * d u a l c r e w s h i n i n g ~2 * * * d u s t ~2 * * * f l o w e r d e s i g n s ~2 * * * i d s o f t w a r e ~2 * * * i m p h o b i a ~2 * * * i n f e c t ~2 * * * i n s a n e ~2 * * * n o i c e ~2 * * * o m i c r o n ~2 * * * o r i e n t ~2 * * * p h o e n i x ~2 * * * r a m J A M ~2 * * * r e f l e x ~2 * * * s i l e n t s p c ~2 * * * s u r p r i s e ! p r o d . ~2 * * * s q u a s h ~2 * * * t d s i n c . ~2 * * * t r i a d ~2 * * * t r i t o n ~2 * * * v o i c e ~2 * * * w i t a n ~2 * * * y - f r o n t and some ~2ANTI~1s to those not-so-wanted occurences... ~2certain~1 norwegians (for killing seals) ~2 * * * ~2all~1 neo-nazis (for their philosophy) ~2 * * * ~2dark~1 clouds (for pouring rain all day) ~2 * * * former and present people with ~2too~1 much power (for making this planet a worse place to live at) and finally a special ~2 "you saw the light, ~2 congratulations" to axy/deadline dezign, who have realized that the so called elite scene is not the ~2real scene~1. have a nice stay here on ~2earth~1! and to all ~2"eLiTE dEWDZ"~1, face the fact that the gain of your work is non-excisting and ~2get down~1 here too!